The rules require that a negative vote includes an alternative proposal or a detailed explanation of the reasons for the negative vote.^source

It is easy to see the failures of others, and it is easy to see the places where the reality pales in comparison to the ideal. However, to be constructive in your criticism and be productive in your work is hard. And to be tenacious in the pursuit of change is rare indeed.

I was pondering the idea of meritocracy tonight, and I decided to look up the term. (Through the convolutions of the web, this lead me to the quote I started this post with.)

"Mertiocracy" is only a half century old, and the person who coined the phrase did not support the idea. Instead the author saw meritocracy as a shell game where "merit" was defined by those in power.

The opposition to meritocracy struck me as true in general. It pointed to the general truth that those in power will use their power to stay in power.

This post and ensuing bickering over at cakebaker's blog struck a chord with me, resonating with my role at my present job.

I work hard and try hard to make things well. I'm smart and a good problem solver, not the best planner, but I am "meta" enough about myself to realize that, and am always trying to improve.

I work under pressure of deadlines and juggle multiple projects between handling urgent trouble-tickets. I try to be friendly to my coworkers, but often my self-regard gets the best of my tact and grace.

I'm not a well-dressed, glad-handing salesman, all smiles, winks and pop-culture references.

I'm not a frazzled project manager with a million to-do lists but no understanding, asking when it will be done.

I'm sure not the tester, too dumb or cowardly to get his hands dirty coding, who comes to my desk with printouts of errors, highlighted and commented, saying "You screwed up." or "This would be better if...".

I don't have a high regard for the tester. My tone is often angry when I address him. Last month, after he brought a stack of printouts with errors from a project I'd been working on, I slapped my palm down on his printouts on my desk, angrily crumpled the paper and complained to him that his printouts were a waste of paper and would be better as PDFs.

I'm meta enough to realize that I was redirecting my anger at his criticism of my work with a weak criticism of his. I realize that without his contributions, my work would be less. But it is hard to say that, and I will never admit it to him.

After putting the time into the planning and construction, I feel it is my work, a tower to myself, and I want everyone to love it like I do. And I know I am behaving like a child.